"Let's breathe the air once again."
Welcome to refreshed*. Enjoy your stay here :)
Wednesday, September 25, 2013 |
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Why would you tell other people that you're a good liar? It just makes people doubt what you say and makes it harder to lie to people. Amazing what we say to try to impress others. Labels: Jason |
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♥ 8:34 AM |
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Saturday, September 14, 2013 |
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Today was the first day I actually had to refuse alcohol. I think I might have been a little dramatic, but I'm glad I declined. I'm grateful I've made friends who can understand and respect my values. It was a great time without any intoxicants. I was afraid to talk about it, but now I've reached a deeper level of comfort. I guess that's what you call friendship.
Though I wonder how much longer I'll hold on. Maybe drinking isn't really that bad. Maybe my sobriety is one thing that just further distinguishes myself and protects my ever so fragile ego. A lot of unanswered questions, but for now, I am happy with where I stand. Roll Tide.Labels: Jason, Thoughts |
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♥ 12:51 AM |
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Monday, September 9, 2013 |
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I've never expected life away from home to make me miss it so much. Uni is supposed to be awesome. Especially in the setting where I never really liked being home anyway. But it feels like everything I dislike just moved 2.5 hours to UIUC. Loneliness moved here with me. As well as disappointment, being disappointed and disappointing others. An overwhelming sense of needing to please came here with me too. Perhaps because it's associated with my major as well, the need to network, to have people like me; it's magnified that much more.
Everyday is busy. Everyday there's work. Everyday there's not as much time to myself as I would like. Everyday there's procrastination.
Little HS-ers out there, let me give you words of wisdom. Perhaps for you seniors. College = Increase in every single facet of your life and factors in your life. More responsibilities, more expectations, more work, more clubs, more commitments, more people to have to impress. So reduce it. Do not, I repeat. DO NOT fucking date your first year of college. Especially in the beginning. I have no clue what the fuck I'm doing. And why the fuck I'm doing it. It seems like something of comfort, yet it creates so much stress. I feel like I'm constantly doing things wrong. Having to pull out time to "date". How difficult do human relationships have to be? Why do I have to constantly explain myself? Why can't I just do things the way I want? Because that's how relationships work. It's always others over self. It's something I believe in.
Yet, I just wanna stop and do something for myself. Even if it is allotting an hour everyday to just stare into space and do nothing. I just want some space for myself. A time where my phone stops ringing, a time where I don't have to feel I will get scolded if I don't respond to you, a time where I don't have to report where I am, what I'm doing, where I'm going. A time where I don't have to feel like again I don't belong anywhere and that tomorrow is another day of fruitless trying. Agh. I hate people, and relationships and everything of the like. I just wanna wake up tomorrow like another lazy Saturday or Sunday where I could go and eat sushi with my sister. I miss her a lot. More than expected, but that's what growing up is like.
- ReiLabels: Rant, Rei |
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♥ 3:00 PM |
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"I was the first to fall, last to know where'd you go?"
- ReiLabels: Rei |
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♥ 2:51 PM |
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WHAT THE FUCK. WHAT THE FLYING FUCK.
Well it's not like I have any jurisdiction anymore, but damn. That hurts.
But this will motivate me. I will try. Harder than ever before.Labels: Jason, Rant |
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♥ 12:35 AM |
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We judge others by their actions, and ourselves by our intentions.
*Edit: Thought I'd list some quotes I created that I try to live by. Hopefully I'll keep this as a reminder of what I'm trying to be.
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Don't judge a person by what others tell you. Figure out for yourself.
Making correct decisions will make you a winning player in any endeavor. Some decisions are more correct than others.
Listen. Each person is filled with different motivations, beliefs, interests and knowledge that is worth exploring.
Push to improve yourself while accepting who you are. Happiness is all a matter of perspective.
Find a reason to appreciate a person rather than depreciate.
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Granted, most of these quotes deal with interpersonal relationships, but that seems to be the area I lack the most. Ready for stage 2 of this experiment.
Labels: Jason, Thoughts |
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♥ 4:00 PM |
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Welcome back. It's good to have you :) Labels: Jason |
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♥ 9:09 AM |
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