| I used to think being nice to people would get other people to be nice back to me. Treat other the ways you wanted to be treated right? I think it started because my brother was really nice to me, we were never super close and we had our arguments, but he never beat me up or did things like you think a big bro would do to you. Sometimes he'd even give me candy, that always made me happy. So I went on with life thinking the world was a happy place. Innocent little me.
Then in eighth grade I had my first experience of actual love... and my first realization of being a "nice guy". Looking back, I should've dumped her after the first 6 months. So much bullshit during the winter/spring part. I tried being nice, tried everything really, but every time she would turn away. I loved her. I didn't feel like she did back. I still don't even understand what happened.
It's the same pattern with everyone save a couple of people who actually do reciprocate. As a Christian I've been taught values which I try very hard to apply to my normal life. I often pray in search for an answer, what am I doing wrong?
Is being nice overrated nowadays? Sometimes I feel like I'm cast off unless needed. Just a tool. I don't like this feeling. Labels: Jason |